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Jerkin my Tudor
When you first look at the cover of this knitting pattern book, you might find yourself drawn to the woman with the oversized and oddly placed nipple. That, along with the kangaroo pouch hanging off her abdomen, would seem to be entertainment enough. But I suggest that we take a closer look at the pink clad Casanova at the bottom right.
I don't know if it's the squinty eyes, the butterscotch combover, the manboobs, or his pre queer eye knack for putting together a look that pops, but this Tudor Jerkin guy is H-O-T. That handlebar mustache isn't hurting anything either. And what woman doesn't love a man who sees the world through amber colored glasses? Don't you just want to rip off this stud's belted horizontal ribbed sweater, red tie, pink textured stripe button down, and red lacy corset? What? You don't think he's wearing a corset? Take it from someone who knows: You don't get cleavage like that without some
support.
CELEBRITY SIMILARITY ALERT: The Totally Rad (and unfortunately deceased) Captain Kangaroo
Posted by Kimberly on May 16, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
I think he's got tiny little pomegranates stuffed in there....or maybe crabapples....
Posted by: bobosews | May 16, 2005 4:31:52 PM
I almost chocked on my own saliva, I was laughing so hard at his belt.
Do you (threadbared) own these patterns or do you find scans of them on the net? I see horrible ones like this all the time at the Goodwill.
Posted by: Jeff Manley | May 16, 2005 4:46:54 PM
Christ. It's like cosplay mixed with '70s porn.
Posted by: Justin Cognito | May 16, 2005 5:14:26 PM
Is he ever hot!!!!!
Posted by: Minou | May 16, 2005 5:34:52 PM
the sweater goes perfectly with his felt pants.
Posted by: kphiker | May 16, 2005 5:41:19 PM
I...MUST...HAVE...HIM, but he reminds me more of the creepy guy from the old dating game:
http://www.710kmpc.com/Large%20Photos/Jim-Lange-Mid-80s-media-kit.jpg
Posted by: kowgurl | May 16, 2005 5:45:54 PM
What is a jerkin? Some kind of british sweater? Please tell me.
Posted by: jen14221 | May 16, 2005 6:27:20 PM
There is so totally a joke to be made about the "Jerkin" thing....But, alas, I am rendered speechless at his sexy, sexy smile. Hubba!
Posted by: Elaine | May 16, 2005 8:38:12 PM
I always wondered what Mr. McFeely (http://www.juneauempire.com/images/070303/mrmcfeely.jpg) looked like much younger and out of uniform... I'll be having sweet dreams tonight!
Posted by: lali | May 16, 2005 9:13:29 PM
I don't know about you, but that left hand bothers me. It's like he's getting ready to catch something.
The right hand's easier to figure out: He's holding on to his belt for dear life and HOLDING HIMSELF IN because if he doesn't, his corset/shirt/sweater layercake is going to explode in a passionate burst of manly eroticism.
Posted by: neko | May 16, 2005 9:35:11 PM
Oh, thank God somebody finally mentioned his left hand. I was starting to worry it had gone unnoticed. Yes, he certainly is getting ready to catch something. He's getting ready to catch hold of his engorged manhood. Then you'll really see some Tudor Jerkin' (yeah, sorry - I wasn't able to resist the "jerkin" joke).
Posted by: David | May 17, 2005 9:21:22 AM
Oh my gosh!!! I am going to disrupt the entire office. That is great stuff.
Posted by: Nat | May 17, 2005 2:05:20 PM
pink clad cassanova- man you've got a way with words..LOL! :) thanks for the guffaw!
Posted by: Tenika Morrison | May 18, 2005 11:28:00 AM
I can hardly see to type as my eyes are full of laughter tears. Thanks for the entertainment.
Posted by: Jane | May 19, 2005 1:32:55 PM
I wonder if anyone ever made that tunic and their man wore it? You are Sooooo my Blog of the day.
Posted by: Fran | May 19, 2005 5:36:04 PM
Ok, this one caused me to snort cappuccino. ow.
LMAO
Too frickin' funny!
Posted by: Celti | May 20, 2005 9:48:09 AM
I think popcorn came out my nose.
Posted by: That Girl | May 20, 2005 8:06:07 PM
Yes, I imagine there would be a whole lotta Tudor jerkin' in that studly costume (In the end, I couldn't resist the joke either, though I tried). Poor soul, he even wore it to the Renaissance Faire in an effort to get lucky: too much mead and he was anybody's for the asking. Not that anybody was asking. He ended up walking around the Faire, alone, disconsolate, chewing on a turkey leg and ogling the women in the magickal jewelry booths.
Over the weekend, I threatened to make one of these for my husband, and he said he'd divorce me if I did.
Posted by: neko | May 25, 2005 12:33:05 AM
This is the funniest blog I have seen in a long, long time.
Posted by: Michelle | May 25, 2005 3:04:10 AM
You made milk come out my nose, which is weird, because I haven't had any milk in several days...
Posted by: dana | May 25, 2005 3:18:31 PM
I just about pee'd my pants on this one!! H-O-T is right!! He sure is YUMMY!! LOL
Posted by: Angela | May 26, 2005 1:35:27 PM
OMIGOD, this IS the funniest blog I have ever read!!! You are brilliant! Do you happen to have any of the
"Marlo Thomas" patterns from the 70s? They are a scream, and also bear resemblance to J. Willbanks.
Also good for howlin' are some re-enactment patterns from Mount Vernon, where the guy looks like he needs a black hankie in one back pocket, and a stiff spanking. Do you take jpegs? I'd be glad to send!
You are now on the read list of every professional costume designer I know! Thanks again!
Polly
Posted by: Polly | May 28, 2005 4:02:40 PM
I think that a bra is a must if you're going to wear knits. For both of them, I mean. The great thing about sideburns and tunics is that they never go out of style.
Posted by: StevieS | Jun 21, 2005 6:32:38 AM
What's up with her hair? It's like there's a leaf-blower under there.
Posted by: jfasoga | Jun 27, 2005 5:08:22 PM
OMG this is the FUNNIEST site I have ever read! I am so glad to have stumbled across it! Wow if I make one for my husband and he divorces me over it,,,,well that only leaves this Casanova with me for trouble on his HOT tudor jerkin' hands!! That's it...I'm asking for a divorce so I can go get this guy for my very own!
Posted by: Blondie | Mar 2, 2006 11:57:50 AM
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