« The Ultimate Afghan Solution | Main | Turn That Frown Upside Down! »
Sewing Another Costume, Your Mom Will Be. Even Though You’re Like Thirty Four Years Old.
So apparently there's this "Star Wars" movie that's out right now and it's all the rage. Where have I been? I hear that this is some kind of national phenomenon, with people camping out for tickets and dressing up in costume to go watch the movie. Costumes, eh? I had to investigate.
I like to call this one “Waiting For Your Mom To Pick You Up Outside The Mall”
Or the ever popular "Call Me Big Daddy When You Back That Ass Up."
What's that? You're a chick? Are you sure you want to dress up like this? Okay, whatever. Here is your very own "Nondescript Female Costume." Kinda boring, huh? I would totally dress up as a Wookie if I were you.
And then finally there's the "Okay, Who Hid My Freakin' Light Saber AGAIN? You Guys, It's Not Funny Anymore."
None of these costumes do it for you? Perhaps you'd like to kick it old school with one of these fine patterns:
Um. I don't really remember Darth Vader being cross-eyed though. Or, actually, having eyes at all, now that I think about it.
Hmmmm.
Posted by Mary on May 25, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
Hilarious! I love your site -- very funny. I've almost wet my pants a couple of times while laughing. Is that too much information? And your personal site is great too. I'm entering into a "New" phase as well.
Posted by: Sara | May 25, 2005 5:25:57 PM
I was so Princess Leia for Halloween when Star Wars came out. I wore my mom's white beach robe (with hood)hiked up by her black vinyl belt.
Posted by: Maureen Hay | May 25, 2005 5:28:26 PM
I was Princess Leia too for Halloween after The Empire Strikes Back came out! My mom made my dress, but I don't think she used the pattern above. My hair was even long enough to do the cinnamon buns style.
Posted by: Julia | May 25, 2005 8:24:12 PM
Oh my Goddess, I couldn;t stop laughing after this one. I've been reading for awhile and I am always laughing at the end but that one...oh my goodness. Even my husband cracked up at that one (as he paused his Knights of the Old Republic game to come and see what was so damn funny). I just love you.
Posted by: chasmyn | May 25, 2005 9:25:14 PM
The little whatchyamacallit (second from right - sorry, I left my dork-tionary at home) looks remarkably like the Golli-blog in a cape. Actually Darth Vader isn't so far off, either. Darth Sambo? Eesh!
Posted by: David | May 26, 2005 9:08:55 AM
Good heavens, what costumes! I'd have to roll a 12-sided die to choose among them!
Posted by: Elaine | May 26, 2005 9:59:12 AM
Totally - First thing I thought was
"Hey, it's GOLLI VADER"!
The larger dark lord looks more like 'Ebony Porcine Vader' to me. The eyes are kinda freaking me out.
Posted by: beastarzmom | May 26, 2005 10:27:47 AM
I remember that pattern! Whoa, sometimes this site just brings the memories flooding back.
I don't remember it seeming funny at the time, though.
Posted by: Ice Queen | May 26, 2005 10:35:52 AM
damnit! You got me in trouble for laughing at work again! No laughing aloud here! pffbbbbttt!
*darth vader. snicker snicker*
Posted by: Celti | May 26, 2005 12:08:13 PM
I giggled all the way through this one. I was Princess Leia for Halloween one year as a kid. I don't know if she used that pattern or not. Even had hair long enough for the buns.
Posted by: Shannon | May 26, 2005 1:24:29 PM
I just came across your site and the first post has me laughing so hard I may need to get some oxygen! I LOVE the pattern envelope for the old school costumes. How much do you think the Darth Vader kid hated his mom for putting the eyes on? "MOM, I don't have to see out! MOM!!! None of the other kids have eyes on their Darth Vader costume."
Posted by: lori | May 26, 2005 2:36:46 PM
I'm laughing so hard, I am crying! This site does that to me a a lot!
Posted by: Nancy (scrappyknees) | May 26, 2005 3:20:20 PM
So funny! That last one is sort of a Darth Vader meet Cookie Monster costume. That's probably what happens to Cookie Monster when he's told he has to eat healthier and cut down on his cookie intake.
Posted by: Suzi | May 26, 2005 5:42:40 PM
C'mon guys, that "little whatchyamacallit" (second from right) is clearly a Jawa. Good thing I memorized my dork-tionary.
Hilarious.
Posted by: Adelaide | May 26, 2005 6:39:22 PM
My mother found your site and forwarded it to me at the beginning of may.....she and I have had MANY laughs since then because she was a mad sewer when I was growing up (Im 37 now, so you KNOW she made a lot of the ones you've shown) This is absolutely one of the funniest sites on the net.
I too was the princess the first halloween after the movies came out....my mother made the dress out of some satiny material and I had the "buns" too
thanks for all you do!!!
Posted by: Shannon | May 26, 2005 6:57:17 PM
Dude, check out Yoda's feet...
So, all you lucky folks who were Leia or Darth Vader when you were younger... I was definitely Chewy. It was right around when the redone, fancied-up versions were out and I had a little stuffed Ewok, and my mom thought it would be cute for halloween.
I didn't leave the house.
Posted by: Bridget | May 26, 2005 10:44:32 PM
There she is, The Runaway Bride, hiding in a Darth Vader costume.
Posted by: | May 27, 2005 11:25:47 AM
New Eminem Video Starring Ewan MacGregor: "Back That Big Ass Up, Jedi Man", Coming Soon To A Mall Near You.
Giggle. Snort. Snicker. Love the site- more fun than feeding Alka-Seltzer to Ewoks.
Posted by: Lili | May 27, 2005 2:12:15 PM
I was Leia too, in first grade. I think there were a half-dozen of us that year.
Posted by: Greta | May 27, 2005 2:36:19 PM
I think yoda looks like a seasick Klingon midget.
Posted by: guest | May 27, 2005 5:36:44 PM
Oh my! This brings back some memories it took me YEARS of therapy to to forget. Thanks
;)
Posted by: Juno | May 28, 2005 11:19:46 PM
I don't remember Chewbacka--oh god did i spell it right?--being so orange. And Darth Vader with bug eyes is hilarious. Looks like someone scared the crap out of him!
Posted by: Cindy | Jun 1, 2005 4:36:19 AM
I don't remember Chewbacca being a midget either!
Posted by: elljay | Jun 2, 2005 10:06:31 AM
Why does the jawa look like blackface? I really like Vader though "I ams yo fatha! So please turn to the darkside so massuh won't get mad and whip us both!"
Posted by: dan | Jun 4, 2005 7:20:32 PM
Don't leave your little ones out of the horrors of tacky costumes (if you somehow managed to breed): Check out Simplicity's Medieval Costumes for Toddlers at http://www.simplicity.com/assets/4944/4944.jpg
Posted by: Aabra | Jun 7, 2005 6:20:57 AM
Making children wear these costumes in public really, really constitutes child abuse. However, I anxiously await the toddler version of Tudor Jerkin.
I also think Tudor Jerkin is the name of a Star Wars character. Isn't it? It sure sounds like it could be.
Posted by: neko | Jun 13, 2005 9:08:21 AM
I actually think I saw some guy in the club last weekend backin' that ass up in a Jedi costume. Except he had a light up belt buckle flashing his name. (true story)
This site is truly too funny. My coworkers are looking at me funny as I try to disguise my snorts of laughter.
Posted by: Holly | Jun 17, 2005 12:10:55 PM
Star Wars nerds are funny. "Mom, make me a costume. I know I can do it myself, but I'm busy playing D&D."
Posted by: jfasoga | Jun 27, 2005 11:26:02 AM
Two words: Darth Homer
Posted by: Robin from Mass | Jul 8, 2005 2:12:20 PM
A few years back my friends young (11 & 8) sons wanted to be Han Solo and a Jedi Padawan (apprentice for youse guys with out geekdictonaries). We did not have much money, and thier parents had just divorced in bankrupcy, so I wanted to give them as much childhood as possible. I did not have those patterns, so I made my own. They came out pretty spiff, and the boys begged me to dress up with them and take them to the mall to go Trick or Treating. I obliged, I dressed like one of Padame's hand maids, complete with weave hair extensions so I could have a big ass beehive/braid updo. I was praised throughout the ghetto for that hair, and overall I looked like Natalie Portman forgot to push herself away from the table. Matte black spray paint on a big water cannon type water gun altered with wood putty makes a cool Han Solo gun BTW. I painted 'BLASTEK 5000' on it, and it did not look at all like a real gun. Still shot water! We got a lot of wear out of them, what with all the Star Wars movies being released again and the new ones.....I was always embarrassed to do it but it made the boys so happy to go to opening night of the movie and hang outside the mall all dressed up. I did NOT see anybody I knew there all the times I took them. "I call this one...waiting outside the mall for my Mom" is too funny, they did not need Mom since I drove them. Ack.
And the looks from the adults & moms when we all showed up dressed like that. The pity in thier eyes at my conscription by children whom I did not spawn coupled with jealousy at my handiness. I reveled in the looks in the other childrens eyes as they stared at thier Moms.......thinking.....if only my Mom could sew....
There are no pictures THANK GOD!
Keep making us laugh!
Posted by: Sarah | Jul 9, 2005 3:47:46 PM
Hey, Sarah, that's a great story! It's so nice that you went out of your way to give those kids some fun memories at a time when life was probably very uncertain and difficult for them. It also shows that you don't need a pattern to make great costumes if you just use your imagination and a little ingenuity. Love the water cannon-laser blaster idea! ^_^
As for that pattern...well, those have to be just about the worst Star Wars costumes I've ever seen. O_o You'd think the designer would have put a little more effort into it. Was that pattern ever sanctioned by Lucasfilm??
Posted by: Lois | Jun 3, 2006 10:31:19 PM
Oh, and I don't remember Padme wearing a blue gown like that third one from the top. It looks like something to wear at a Ren Faire, or maybe to a Lord of the Rings convention!
Posted by: Lois | Jun 3, 2006 10:35:48 PM
hehehe funny!!
Hey I live in Edinburgh to!
nessa xx
Posted by: Nessa | Apr 8, 2007 5:52:38 PM
Does any one have that pattern that is showing mccalls
7772 the star wars. Would you like to the pattern?
Posted by: patsy | Jun 26, 2007 1:45:24 PM
can you make me some Yoda Feet?
Posted by: Deborah Butler | Aug 21, 2007 8:06:00 PM
