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Look At Me When I'm Talking To You.
HEY!
I SAID, if it looked "so gay" when I tried it on in the store why didn't you tell me that then? Hmm? HMM? Before I got it home and cut the fucking tags off?
And wipe that stupid smirk off your face. Like you ALWAYS make the best fashion choices, right? Mr. Fuchsia Spandex Cycling Shorts. OH, I KNOW all about those!They're on the top shelf in your closet! Don't even ACT like I haven't seen them!
I am SO not talking to you anymore. Like your silly striped tunic is ALL THAT.
God, you can be such a bitch sometimes.
Posted by Mary on June 1, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
Not only are the FAST, but they are EASY too!! Break out the KY! But what I really want to know is what really is it they are modeling? Sleepwear? Gay-ware? If it's sleepwear then why in the hell is "Mr.-Blue-Pants-I'm-A-Pouty_Bitch" wearing what appears to be platform shoes? And "Mr.-Dress-Wearing-She-Man" remind's me of Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra.
Posted by: toiletpaper | Jun 1, 2005 4:38:20 PM
I like that the pattern is by "Butterick". Hee!
Posted by: leandra | Jun 1, 2005 5:08:32 PM
Good Heavens! What is up with the saucy slit in the man caftan? (Man-tan? Caft-man?) It's all too mind boggling for this gal.
Posted by: Elaine | Jun 1, 2005 7:44:22 PM
Ahh great Blog, now I'll never look at my wife's sewing patterns in the same light again. People didn't actually wear that did they?
Mik
Posted by: Mik | Jun 1, 2005 8:14:17 PM
Ok. I love the site. Ya'll are wicked funny!
Posted by: Evelyn | Jun 1, 2005 11:36:11 PM
...and by the way, Stripey, no Real Man would be caught dead in a sleeve like that.
Posted by: wimpy | Jun 2, 2005 3:07:34 AM
rofl! Nice one :)
Posted by: Harmony | Jun 2, 2005 6:32:59 AM
Wife told me she actually had that pattern and made the craptan thingy for herself. Methinks I'd better check she still doesn't have it less she thinks I need such a bag of shite.
Mik
Posted by: Mik | Jun 2, 2005 8:07:34 AM
Has anyone seen a man (outside of a traditional or ethinic costume) wear something like that? WTF?
Posted by: Colleen | Jun 2, 2005 9:25:05 AM
This site cracks me up!
Posted by: Anna | Jun 2, 2005 10:49:59 AM
I wonder what the person who made this pattern was on when they decided that a man needed a nightgown/dress like that? Yikes...
Posted by: Jill | Jun 2, 2005 10:56:15 AM
I feel the need to drive to my mother's house and rummage through all of her old patterns.
Posted by: Shannon | Jun 2, 2005 1:01:15 PM
My (male) neighbor wears caftans like that out in his front yard all the time.
Posted by: Karen | Jun 2, 2005 1:21:42 PM
ouch. Diet Coke snorted out nose. Awesome blog.
Posted by: rose | Jun 2, 2005 1:42:06 PM
Oh, gawd! This one is so nutty that I want to believe the illustrator was in on the joke. The sad truth, though, is that they almost certainly weren't.
Posted by: David | Jun 2, 2005 2:05:56 PM
I have that pattern *eep!*
I've never made it, nor do I plan to, but after seeing your take on it, I'll have to pull it out and giggle, along with the other patterns I've picked up at yard sales.
Posted by: Christine | Jun 2, 2005 2:33:06 PM
Yep, Mik. I've actually seen someone in the flesh wear this gay-tan. It was in the mid 70s. This guy was helping (he was in art history and schulpting) my sister move and stayed overnight at our parents' house. I'll never forget the look on my mom's face (nor mine) when he came downstairs after his bath. Too funny.
Posted by: Pam | Jun 3, 2005 9:33:09 AM
Paul Lynde used to wear caftans. Caftan-man shaves his legs.
Posted by: guest | Jun 3, 2005 3:57:27 PM
OMG, I made this pattern for my husband way-back-when. I do believe it was in 1977 - I was pregnant and wanted him to experience the stylish thrill of maternity clothes, too. It must have had something to do with my hormones. What a man - he nearly wore it out!
Posted by: Bonnie | Jun 3, 2005 9:05:04 PM
"Well, you know what they say 'A girl can run faster with her dress up than a man can with his pants down.' Bitch, I'm here to tell you, you better be looking for an escape route pronto because I've got a razor-sharp knife hidden here in my drag and you're about to get stuck! I'm going to gore you a new butthole, the likes of which you've never seen before....you with that nasty, hairy hinterland of yours!"
Posted by: Jeff | Jun 4, 2005 12:14:23 AM
Actually, I imagine that's what Ozymandias (from The Watchmen) wears to bed. Except what's with that weird bulge in his stomche area? Malnutrition? Bad posture? Early stages of pregnancy?
Posted by: Dan | Jun 4, 2005 7:12:12 PM
Oh, what a nice chemise for SCA garb.... only why's it on a man??
Posted by: aline | Jun 4, 2005 7:16:17 PM
Isn't 'striped-shirt guy' Gregg from the Brady Bunch?
Posted by: elljay | Jun 4, 2005 7:40:02 PM
He looks more like Mike Brady to me.
Posted by: guest | Jun 6, 2005 12:51:53 PM
omg. i was scrolling down and i was actually recognizing styles from the 70s from movies and pictures and my dads memories and all....until this one. omg. i had to rub my eyes. lord save us all.
haha, and then i read the comments.....my cheeks hurt....
Posted by: blah | Jun 17, 2005 1:19:03 PM
Lawrence of Gay-rabia meets "Salty Jacques" the naughty French pirate. Oo-la-la!
Posted by: Jade | Jun 17, 2005 10:11:22 PM
Ya know, I just happen to be odd enough to be a straight man who DOES happen to own AND wear this caftan!! Probably a left over from wearing period 18th and 19th cent. clothes, but I still wear it and will continue to do so... curiously only a few of my sleeping companions have ever seen me in it though....
Posted by: marcus | Jun 19, 2005 5:59:45 PM
Guess what..I think my mother had, or worse STILL HAS that pattern. She made one for my dad, and for the past 30 years has worn an incarnation of one ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. NO JOKE! When we were kids, we never let anyone come over if we thought he was still awake...too many "why is your dad wearing a dress?" comments. Scary thing is--is a welder who restores vintage Harleys. I think I call him and ask which one he is wearing now. HA HA HA.
Posted by: Vickie | Jun 20, 2005 11:09:53 PM
I just got forwarded to this site, and of course the first thing I see is that hilarious pattern. I guess people, men especially, weren't so uptight and defensive about their homosexuality. On a quick serious note (gasp!), obviously people's views on what's "gay" changes with time, and maybe they should examine their prejudices.
Posted by: Mona | Jun 21, 2005 7:02:41 PM
"Bruce, i wanted to wear that to the chartreuse' moose tonight, I'm sick of you raiding my closet!"
Posted by: Pamela | Jun 26, 2005 5:01:39 AM
"Like, if you knew about the spandex shorts, then, like, why aren't you wearing them? I think they're, like the bomb!"
Posted by: jfasoga | Jun 26, 2005 9:52:10 PM
omg i am laughing out loud! your site is fantastic! just found you yesterday and blogrolled you!
Posted by: millenniumhippies | Jun 30, 2005 5:48:33 PM
Wow. I found this pattern yesterday in value village and nearly had a heart attack. I bought it to make costumes for my school play.
Posted by: suzy | Mar 26, 2006 3:31:02 PM
I actually made this for a boyfriend in 1977.
We shared a house with another couple and he was always walking around nekkid.
One day he borrowed my robe- I sewed this the next day...
He looked lovely with his long black hair!
Posted by: lorie | Sep 5, 2006 2:46:43 PM
OMG!!!! this is oh-so-funny!!
Posted by: marnia | Oct 17, 2006 10:27:57 AM
