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Mary Walsh Can Thank Us Later.
Oooooooh, what have we here? A Butterick Sew And Go Caftan? A Butterick Sew and Go Caftan for Mary Walsh? Oh, what a lucky gal she is! Mary Walsh!
But wait! There's a some scribbling there on the right, some kind of notation. "Toolong!" Huh. What in hell does "toolong" mean? Better consult the dictionary.
La la la la.......flipping through our handy Oxford-English.....and there's...no such word as...."toolong."
OH! "Too-long!" The caftan is too long! Now I've got it.
Hmmm. Yes, "too long" indeed. It is an excellent idea to make helpful notes on your patterns though, something to serve as reminders in the future, something to keep you from making the same mistake twice. We can think of dozens of helpful hints that we would add to such a pattern! In addition to "Too Long" we would like to suggest:
Too Wide.
Too Ugly.
Too Voluminous.
Too Much of A Resemblance To A Shower Curtain I Used To Own.
Too Many Blank Stares From Your Children When They Come Home From School And Find You Wearing It.
Too Large To Wear Grocery Shopping Without The Save Rite Managers Accusing You Of Hiding Loaves of Bread In Your Outfit.
Too Many People Are Going To Be Reminded Of Mrs. Roper From "Three's Company."
Posted by Mary on July 13, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
I notice it's Size Small.
Why would a small person need a caftan? Since not for the fat hiding properties, it would have to be for its style and fashion statement alone.
shudder
Posted by: Ice Queen | Jul 14, 2005 9:14:27 AM
Too much like a trellis you might have on the side of your house.
Posted by: Bethiclaus | Jul 14, 2005 9:26:18 AM
This woman looks as though she is trying to escape but she CAN'T QUITE MAKE IT OUT...
On a side note, I read this early in the morning and if one of my neighbors comes complaining about the noise, I'm blaming it on you! This site is hilarious!
ME
Posted by: Just me | Jul 14, 2005 9:31:21 AM
For a moment try to resist staring into the dazzling and hypnotic depths of the caftan, and actually look at the proportions of the woman herself. Her legs have to be at least 7 feet long, and I'm guessing that she's about 10 feet tall in total.
Also, if you tied a string to her she'd make a damn fine kite. And I mean "f-i-n-e".
Posted by: David | Jul 14, 2005 9:59:51 AM
Mrs. Roper!!! Oh boy was she ever a hoot! And this is just her style!!
Posted by: Cheryl | Jul 14, 2005 10:23:37 AM
Do you think this is a Glamour Do or Don't? I'm banking that in it's day, it was a toss up. Egad.
Posted by: Kelly | Jul 14, 2005 10:48:50 AM
How about:
Too Open On the Sides Because We Don't Want To See You Nude Underneath
Too Much Easy Access
Too Fun For Riding the Airport PeopleMover While Holding On to Both Sides And Standing in Such A Way That No One Can Pass (or See Past You)
Posted by: WhizGidget | Jul 14, 2005 10:57:30 AM
Finally, a new use for old hotel draperies.
Posted by: Colleen | Jul 14, 2005 11:58:00 AM
Too funny!!!!!
Posted by: Holly | Jul 14, 2005 12:17:50 PM
I didn't know kaftans actually had sizes. What are they, Small, Large, Bedouin tent?
Posted by: Yorkie | Jul 14, 2005 12:40:15 PM
I'm just going to pretend that this caftan was in the possession of this Mary Walsh (http://www.collectionscanada.ca/women/002026-615-e.html) and she intended on using it to hilarious effect in a high school skit. Otherwise... the mind boggles.
Posted by: Kelly | Jul 14, 2005 1:26:20 PM
Maybe she's just commenting on the model. Do you realise that if normal measures of proportion were applied to this woman she'd be eight or ten feet tall - most of it legs. There are some standards that normal people can't measure up to an most of them involve length.
Posted by: Brent McKee | Jul 14, 2005 2:32:49 PM
Mary couldn't understand why she could never get her aerobics class to follow her routines... Why did she always get that uncoordinated pathetic lot of hopeless gym rats?
Posted by: beastarzmom | Jul 14, 2005 6:31:21 PM
I bet she runs around acting as if she could fly saying "I'm batman!"
Posted by: LostCove | Jul 14, 2005 6:34:50 PM
This was a prototype of the WonderWoman Goes To Hawaii special...can't you tell Linda Carter's about to begin "the twirl" after seeing Bobby Brady take a dangerous Tiki god statue from its resting place.... get 'em girlfriend!
Posted by: Jeff | Jul 14, 2005 8:58:01 PM
Too Funny!
Posted by: | Jul 14, 2005 9:21:29 PM
Too much like a table cloth.
Posted by: | Jul 14, 2005 9:25:21 PM
And, judging by the fabric, too flammable.
Posted by: neko | Jul 15, 2005 2:42:01 PM
I notice that there are darts in back, I assume to make it more fitted?
Posted by: Ruth | Jul 16, 2005 9:47:42 AM
TooLong Fu: Thanks for the Caftans!
Definitely need to hem it for John Leguizamo if he signs up for the sequel....
Posted by: PlazaJen | Jul 16, 2005 1:13:07 PM
Those aren't darts, those are side seams.
Posted by: Barb | Jul 16, 2005 2:41:02 PM
I picture her flapping, flapping, flapping and finally sailing away...
Posted by: becky | Jul 18, 2005 1:50:05 PM
Doesn't anyone realize that Mary Walsh is the Queen-mother of all flying squirrels?!
Posted by: kmf | Jul 20, 2005 7:57:03 PM
If Canada's very own and very funny Mary Walsh knew you were making fun of her dress patterns from the 70's she would probably find it funny (http://www.cbc.ca/lifeandtimes/walsh.html). Don't worry, she made it out of Newfoundland and can now afford to shop ready-made.
Posted by: melanie | Jul 21, 2005 12:16:40 AM
I just noticed her shoes match the pattern on the...whatever this is. Just the right touch to bring this hideous ensemble together. It brings back horrible memories of my Home Economics teacher in junior high who used to make all of her own clothes and shoes....stop!
Posted by: WA | Jul 22, 2005 3:12:43 PM
The fabric is too bias. Obviously against non-ugly fabric.
Posted by: Maureen | Jul 23, 2005 11:37:05 PM
Too kinky!
Posted by: | Aug 5, 2005 12:14:55 PM
Too surprised at boyfriend dumping her after she actually wore the thing out with him.
Also, is there anything under?
Posted by: jfasoga | Aug 5, 2005 8:47:28 PM
I am laughing so hard I have tears. I think my mom had this pattern!
Posted by: Christine | Sep 22, 2005 6:02:18 PM
